My Heartdog 💖
I am taking a moment to make a tribute to Rosie ( Rose-Marie when she misbehaved or had a very endearing moment ) I have been having a real hard time, and I thought sharing this with people that understand might help purge some of the anger and heartache that has never left my heart, we will see. I wrote most of this about a month ago, and tonight I am sitting at home with my beautiful fur-family and my awesome husband, sipping a bourbon in her honor, and finishing our story.
Her gotcha day was 10/1/2002, and she was about a year old when she rescued me, her, me, her…probably me.
It took me until recently to finally hunt down Rosie pictures. I had a few handy but I had tucked the others into my external hard drive. Today is 7 years since my Rosie became an Angel.
I miss her just as much today as I did 7 years ago. Still hurting, still angry, still not understanding why she had to get sick with something I knew nothing about. It’s just not fair. It took her so quickly and she was in so much pain… pain that I could not control, so we released her. She was diagnosed with Masticatory Myositis, however after researching further it could also have been a tumor causing this. Either way, she did not respond to treatment, it was progressing, and we could no longer control the pain. My poor girl’s head was caving in literally, and it just kept getting worse and worse.
Rosie was my last rescue as a veterinary technician. Seems she was bred and dumped, left to fend for herself on the streets. Her poor nipples were almost dragging on the ground and she was full of milk when she ran head on into a car. Animal Control had been chasing her down for three days trying to catch her before she got hit. She had old scars on her arms where the fur never grew back, and other scars where the fur grew back white.
I will never forget the day he walked in with her in his arms. She was muzzled and unconscious. We rushed her in the back and one of the techs put an oxygen mask over her face while I placed an IV catheter into her arm. We got warmed fluids into her and gave her injections of steroids hoping she wouldn’t get a brain swell. Surprisingly, other than her head she only had mild road rash, and a concussion. No broken bones.
I don’t remember how much time passed before the glazed over look in her eyes started to become aware and conscious. She was not wild or thrashing, so I removed her muzzle while I was talking to her. She started to try to stand up, but she kept falling over. I carried her into our recovery kennel and sat with her. Her head was kind of tilted, and for the next week she could not stand on her own without her head starting to bobble about, and she would fall over without assistance. I had no idea if this was forever or temporary but when it came time for Animal Control to come and take her back I could not let them do it. She came home with me and made a full recovery.
Rosie was a 37 pound powerhouse of muscle. She could jump from the ground and see over my 6 foot fence. She was like greased lightening doing zoomies around the yard when I came home. She was fiercely protective of me and my family. She was so damn smart. She did anything you asked of her because all she wanted to do was please, love, cuddle… all of the things she had never had before. As long as I made the formal introduction, once you were my friend you were her friend, and anybody that visited usually ended up with her sitting by them nudging them for attention or jumping on their lap!
I miss you my girlie girl, my sweet angel. I miss you every single day. I miss you running to me and slamming your body into me while washing my face with your kisses. I miss your sweet velvet muzzle. I miss throwing your ball into the pool and racing you to see who would get it first. I miss you curled up on the bed sleeping next to me. Life changed when you left, I feel like a piece of me is missing. I know some day we will meet again, I love you my sweet girl.
If tears could build a stairway,
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say “Goodbye”.
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you –
No one can ever know.
But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.
Since you’ll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you’ll always stay.